How ‘Active Listening’ Makes Both Participants in a Conversation Feel Better
It might be "easy" being a negotiator but how are you when it comes to your own life?
When Traci Ruble and her husband, Clemens Gantert, climbed into bed one night recently, he began telling her about his day at his software startup. He explained that changes in a state law would affect his business. And he told her about a technical problem he was having with a security certificate for the software.
After several minutes, Ms. Ruble turned to look at him. Then she burst out laughing, picked up the remote and turned on the TV. “Whatever you are saying is like speaking Greek to me,” said Ms. Ruble, who is a marriage and family therapist.
“I can’t believe you get paid to listen for a living,” Mr. Gantert replied, calling her on her behavior.
Why is it so hard to listen to our loved ones?…
...“Good listeners overcome their natural inclination to fix the other’s problems and to keep the conversation brief,” says Graham D. Bodie, an associate professor of communication studies at Louisiana State University, who studies listening.